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[Sunday
11.14.2010 ] |
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[Saturday
11.13.2010 ] |
you might think this is a dead journal.
it's not.
but we are ahhhhh!
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[Tuesday
02.09.2010 ] |
The reason that Holden keeps calling people "phony" isn't because they seek social status, wear expensive clothes or lie about their achievements, like superficial people do. It's because Holden looks out at the world and sees that most of the world doesn't really have the problems he does. Most of the world looks pretty "happy" and doesn't need to do all of the soul-searching he does. He doesn't know this explicitly, but he gets a strong feeling about it. Not understanding that he is different than most others, he subconsciously reasons that they're all faking their contentness with their lives-- hence "phonies". Of course, the truth is the opposite; everyone else is pretty okay and Holden is the one holding up a facade of normalcy.
this
rubbing her little tear into the checkerboard
Mr. Antolini:
"'I have a feeling that you're riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall. But I don't honestly know what kind.... It may be the kind where, at the age of thirty, you sit in some bar hating everybody who comes in looking as if he might have played football in college. Then again, you may pick up just enough education to hate people who say, 'It's a secret between he and I.' Or you may end up in some business office, throwing paper clips at the nearest stenographer. I just don't know.
"'This fall I think you're riding for - it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started.
"'Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them - if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry.'"
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[Sunday
01.24.2010 ] |
Even when I was very young I was obsessed with being grown up, being strong, being independent, being perfect. Never feeling weak. I have always been strong.
I need to learn to accept imperfections.
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[Wednesday
10.28.2009 ] |
Belief & Technique
For Modern Prose
by Jack Kerouac
List of Essentials
1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside yr own house
4. Be in love with yr life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Dont think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You're a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven
The chief value in going to college is that it's the only way to learn it
really doesn't matter.
-- George Edwin Howes
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[Wednesday
10.28.2009 ] |
thinking/observing vs engaging
economics & selling things
keeping things nice vs keeping things safe
conscious & analytical
question/understand vs memorize
I haven't been painting much I have been trying to paint pictures with words instead, but I'm afraid I'm not very good at it. George and I have been looking at houses in Durham; if any of you in the area are looking for somewhere to live through next semester, let us know, we need roommates!
here are some ( funny little blind drawings )
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[Monday
10.05.2009 ] |
( 1234 )
I also have a nice download for all of you. Beck has started this new project called the Record Club, in which he and a few other artists get together and cover an entire album in a day, without any prior practicing or arranging or anything. I think it's a pretty sweet idea, and HERE is a download for the first album, a cover of The Velvet Underground and Nico. Be prepared, some of the songs (Heroin) are completely terrible, but some are pretty good. Their second album hasn't completely been released yet, but it is a cover of Songs of Leonard Cohen, done with Devendra Banhart and members of MGMT, Wolfmother and Little Joy. I have seriously high hopes for it. The songs are being released as videos on Beck's website HERE once every week or so. Check it out!
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